Viewpoint: A litir to litterers

I wish to avail of this opportunity to speak to the littering community of Kilcullen and district, writes Desmond Travers. I wish to thank them for the endless hours of activity they have given me over the years. Indeed I would suggest that because of their activities, my activity has increased, thereby improving my fitness.

My Fitbit tells me that a standard litter patrol absorbs on average 3,000 paces, at 74cm a pace that equals 2.22kms. Over time during Covid my BMI has dropped to 21.7.

Not only has my fitness improved but so too has my brain function (?) what with audiobooks, podcasts and a vast catalogue of self improvement subjects that can be downloaded these days, and listened to on litter duty. If I could only remember them, I'd be a bit of an intellectual, especially if there was a venue open in which I could air them.

I do want to get into my favourite subject, which is litter and the trends it sometimes reveals. For example, there are specific take-away drop zones and these are a dozen chomps or so away from the purchase point and tend to be more frequently used on an weekend night. The most unconsumed portions tend to be the veggies, one notices. What would Mommy say about that, I wonder?

Then there are the social-gathering lairs, usually off-road, shady, and they tend to show evidences of liquid consumption. Among other things.

Litter densities from place to place hardly ever vary, but litter type and consumer attitude does. Coming from an age of scarcity, one cannot help but notice refreshment drinks barely or partly consumed. These unemptied containers, add to my load burden ... but also contributes to my upper-body physique!

Another trend is that of flipping containers, especially drinks containers over walls and ditches. I'm kinda 'preciative of this as it is a tentative step towards doing the decent thing. It does however, ruin the landscape and obliges me to get a longer litter-picker. It's a great stretch routine for me, though.

Another similar step, but which I don't like, is the practice of shredding paper into little bits before throwing it away. This requires every piece to be collected. It further deprives me of the opportunity of reading its contents. Over the years one gets to know who's doing the littering and sometimes what they may be aspiring to do. One beautifully hand-written screed was an invite to the writer’s house, for what might be described as a 'canoodle'.

God be with the youth, is all I'll say to that. Amen.

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