Leprechaun absconds, Garda search
A leprechaun recently absconded from a St Patrick’s Day poster, reports Garreth Byrne from Dromahair, Co Leitrim. Locals made enquiries but then became anxious and called in the Gardai.
They searched gardens and grass margins in Churchfield and the Acres. Nothing except a few crushed drinks cans. The forests near Lough Gill were combed. A rainbow seen outside the village was followed, in the hope that a leprechaun with a crock of gold might be found at its end. Tough luck. Rainbows always shift the closer you come to them, then vanish into thin air when the sky turns blue. Anyway, cutehoor leprechauns, like Russian oligarchs, have changed their gold for Bitcoin.
What do leprechauns eat when they’re hungry? Wildflowers, almonds, potatoes, and mushrooms are among their favoured diet. Certain mushrooms are magic! They also like sophisticated prepared drinks and dandelion tea on special occasions. Rumours circulate that they sip poteen when nobody is looking, but evidence is as elusive as rainbows.
A plain chamber pot was discovered in the dense scrub near Shriff. Has anybody gone to pot?
